The 2000 Dodge Dakota is a pretty truck. Actually, it is more tough than pretty. With its big bold and blunt curves on the hood, it crouches similarly to an angry bull that is ready to attack. Then there is the front grill, which reminds me of a big International truck grill. Really, is there a truck in this whole world more tough than an International? This Dakota is so nice that I wanted to test drive one myself. Now, I have already described my distaste for the practicalities of trucks, yet the tough allure present in this particular truck might just be enough to sway my disgruntled opinion.
This particular Dakota is a very masculine example of a vehicle. There are no luxuries, nothing extra to dilute the testimony present in this truck. It is the type of truck an early pioneer would buy to come out west. Only the basics are in this beast, so the chance of anything breaking down or going wrong are minimal. That means there is no auto gearbox to lose oil pressure or to stop the driver from deciding when to shift into gear. This truck has a black interior, designed to hide the dirt and blood that are an inevitable result of skinning a freshly caught Rocky Mountain Barking Spider. Finally, the big tires enable this 4×4 monster to roll over the worst wagon trail on this side of Oregon. Long have I waited for a truck to scratch the benign male urges to be brutish and to morph back to a time where men smoked, drank and fought, while not giving two hoots about global warming.
Excited for such a manly experience, I jumped up to the driver seat. Everything was perfect. The interior was saloon-like, dark and tough. With the bench/bucket seat you have the option of toughing the drive out alone or, if you so desired, bringing along a lady friend to curl up to you. Everything was looking up, I felt tough already! This was great! Then my fragile masculine image was brought into question. The clutch was not a tough, angry, gritty clutch made for towing barns to the ground. It was a soft and weak clutch that made the vehicle easier to live with, yet useless for manly tough assignments! This was not good. I was losing that strong and tough feeling, so I quickly put it in gear and drove away.
I focused on the ride quality as I drove. It was smooth, but not too smooth. There was just enough of an edge in the ride to remind me that I was still driving a truck. Even the engine, while on the small side, still had a nice rumble. Hypnotized by the rumble and dreaming about how I looked in this purring beast, I almost did not notice problem number two: the dreaded shift light.
In my humble opinion, drag cars are the only vehicles that should have shift lights. You see, in a drag car you are being hurled at four thousand G-forces to the back of your seat, while the scenery is whipping past you in the blink of an eye and the smell of burning methanol and smoldering tires lingers in the air. In this set of circumstances, a big light reminding you to change gears before you grenade your engine is a welcomed addition to the cockpit. A light to remind you to shift your truck from first to second at a foolishly low RPM in the name of fuel economy is rather daft. Also, it makes you feel extremely guilty knowing you are single handedly melting the ice caps every time you refuse to do 50 km/h in overdrive.
In such a testosterone driven truck you should not have such feelings of guilt. You should be thinking that with all of that melting going on in the world you might just be a few years away from a beachfront property. This little light just rains on your parade.
Aside from the light of Satan flashing on the dash, this is a good truck. There is definitely a sense that you are driving a manly object that is meant to work hard. Somehow, the design of the truck screams work and yet, you wouldn’t want to do much work with the Dakota. Remember that light, non-gritty clutch? That clutch is useless when you have a yard of dirt in the back of your truck and you are trying to get over a curb. Also, the suspension, while upgraded, is still not strong enough for a lot of weight. You will definitely feel the influence of carrying anything heavy with this Dodge.
If I insist on complaining, I have to mention the shameful gas mileage this truck has. It is horrible. I do not know what Dodge was thinking when they made this truck, but there were oil wells in Quewate that burned less fuel and went further than this truck manages to go. In the year of 2000 you would think that Dodge would have had the technology to make a more fuel-efficient truck.
Maybe I am being too hard on the Dakota. It really is a great truck. It is reliable and relatively inexpensive to buy new (or used now). It has a wonderfully masculine look to it and has an adaptable and comfortable interior. You just have to remember what this truck is. It is a male model. It has muscles in the right places, a chiseled jaw and six pack abs, yet if you ask it to haul your cast iron bathtub down two flights of stairs it will bitch and moan the whole time. It will eventually get the job done, but it will not get it done without a considerable headache. If you were using the bed all of the time, you would definitely need a larger truck. To do the job, Dodge has transferred its same rugged looks that are present in the Dakota to a one-ton turbo diesel truck. So, the choice is yours: you could have the male model Dakota that is easy to park and is smooth to drive or you could have the one-ton monster that burns twice the gas, is four times harder to park, yet 1000% more masculine. My choice is made, now if I could just convince the girlfriend to let me get one…