Love and Repair

Dear Bailey
I have a car that is broken can you tell me how to fix it? My wife took it out for a spin on night and I followed her because I do love my cars. I followed her to a parking lot where she picked up some strange looking guy, I though he may be an old friend. Later I followed them to a dark alley where the car stopped and the lights turned off. After a moment or two I whet over and peaked in the car. My worst fear where confirmed, she was fucking a total stranger, I when back to my car and grabbed a tire iron, went back to the Exotic car where my wife was and started smashing it. First the head lights then the windows and finally the body. When I calmed down I realized that it was not my wife in the car! Can you help me please fix this situation. I feel silly for smashing a car that was not mine. Could you help me. PLEASE……

From: problems with my car xoxo

Dear: Problems with my car,

First and foremost thank you for coming forward with such an important issue regarding your motoring health. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. Well done. Now as for fixing your problem we should take a two-pronged approach so that we can stop you from smashing more exotic sports cars.
First you must know what your car, and your wife, looks like. Even when there is lust and love in the air; you need to be able to tell the difference between a red Ferrari and a yellow Ford Fiesta. I know both cars have a certain appeal and both cars are not the ideal vehicles to have extremely close interpersonal relationships in. BUT there are differences; searching google might help so start there.
Second you have to become better at tailing someone. This is a hard skill to learn. It took me years of watching not only every James Bond movie – ever – but also the car chasing scene in “Bullet” (not once but twice I watched it) to become the tailing expert I am today. So take a tip from the pros, before you go out tailing again watch a bunch of movies. Not only will you become better at tailing you will also learn the suave style of international spies so you can to pick up the ladies – just in case your wife is actually cheating on you.